Friday, April 24, 2009

It ain't looking too good over here

Things have been...well......not so good for quite some time here at Camp Bullseye. Me and Mrs. Bullseye have had our differences over the past year and our relationship has gone all to hell you might say. It seems like we have just grown apart and are little more than strangers. We go days sometimes without speaking a word to the other mostly out of spite. We are both pretty hard headed like that. I have a bad feeling that it's just not going to last much longer, maybe til the school year ends. I think she has a plan and I'm just not privy to the information as of yet. I can just feel it. Sometimes you just know and I do. Not really looking forward to it and I hope that things will get better.......I'm trying, really I am. She don't give much once she has her mind made up though and I think she has done just that. She can be cold as well diggers ass. I have had nothing but the cold shoulder for some time now and I'm getting pretty damn tired of it. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the the doubt and just playing it off that she is still depressed over loosing her grandmother but I know it's more than that. I have been trying to prepare myself for the shit hitting the fan right here on the home front but not really sure what to do. Mostly preparing myself mentally I guess. I can make it on my own. I made it pretty damn good for nearly 35 years before she came along so I can make it. I worry though............about my kids. We have 2 at home, one is hers by a previous marriage and we have one together. I fear that she will move back to WV where most of her dads family is and where we both grew up. I can't let her take my baby away from me. I lost several years of my oldest daughters life due to a divorce and I will NOT let that happen again. This damn world has done nothing but take from me every since the day I set foot on it. I ask for only one thing in my life PEACE, and it's the only thing I can't seem to find. I thought it was here, that's why I moved here to start with but once again it has eluded me like so many times before. Not sure what the next days and weeks will bring but I stand ready............as ready as one can be I guess.


This is Bullseye...OUT !!!

11 comments:

Catman said...

Hey man,

Be praying for you.

Felinae said...

Bullseye,

I am sorry to hear about the troubles going on between you and Mrs. Bullseye. I will keep you all in my prayers & thoughts, hoping for a positive outcome.

Hugs~Felinae~

Bitmap said...

I'm sorry for your trouble. Hopefully it will work out in your favor.

My advice: Hide your guns and other stuff.

My best advice: If you seriously think it's going to be over soon I would talk to a lawyer that specialized in that sort of thing to find out the facts and how bad things can go. Get professional advice on preps you can make as far as protecting yourself from what her divorce lawyer will try to do to you.

I'm not saying to draw up the papers or anything. I'm saying that this is like any other SHTF situation and that knowledge is your friend.

You might try asking her where she thinks you two are headed, if she will discuss it.

Good luck.

Selous Scout said...

I can feel your pain, having been through nearly the same thing myself back in 2001. Don't drop your guard, make some just in case preps of your own.

Hope it all works out for you.

Humble wife said...

Not knowing too much about you, and a fairly new reader(since I began at the NM prepper site) I just feel deep sadness.

I wish that a simple easy perfect solution was possible. I wish that the world was not so crazy. But we both know that no easy solution is possible and that the WORLD IS crazy.

I am going to go out on a limb and ask you if you have seen the movie Fireproof? It is at Walmart, and it is a Kirk Cameron movie. It is pretty good may help you and your wife redirect or refocus.

Remember this, I know neither of you, but hate for a child not to have both parents. I also know that your children are not like children of yesteryear, where you could not have 24-7 contact. We now live in cell phone, Twitter, myspace, blogger, etc etc where you and the children can be in instant contact. Children go to school and have more time away from home than at home as they age, and if you keep a personal blog just for them to know how much you think of them, I know it will make a huge impact.

I am not saying that you should wait until your marriage ends, I am saying right now begin documenting your relationship, events , memories you have with the children.Share your childhood and all the corny things that this will entail. Kids are not dumb, and will get the situation, no matter how worried we become because of a separation or divorce.

I will close with one big bit of hope from a daughter...(although I am now a mother of teens).We always remain daddy's little girl. Always. This is a bond that cannot and will not sever. So daddy- be the best dang daddy out there. You cannot control anything but you, and in your blogging you rock, so I am certain that this is you.

I pray that all things work out, but regardless NEVER forget that a Daddy is something AWESOME.
Jennifer

HermitJim said...

Hey Bullseye...anything you need, brother...just say the word!

I know the pain, having been there...and am sending all the positive energy I can your way!

Whatever happens, know that you are not alone!

Peace, my friend!

Anonymous said...

Hello. You don't know me, but i've read many of your posts. I don't know if there is hope for your marriage or not, but I know one thing, most marriages end because of pride. Both parties suffer from it and it destroys the marriage.

Regardless of what your wife has done to you or failed to do, you very likely have the power to change the relationship for the better through humble service to her. Treat her like your Queen. She may be past the point of no return, but my experience is that most people would like to salvage their marriage.

As for the peace you seek. It can only be found in God. Those who have it can't explain it. Those who don't have it and won't get it from God will try everything under the sun to get it, and always come up empty. If you should want to talk about how to have peace from God, send me an email at
phughes07@gmail.com.

Don't give up!

Mayberry said...

I'm right there with ya Bullseye. Things are great, so long as I don't bother her with reality....

Cygnus MacLlyr said...

Bullseye-- I got chills sitting here reading that, my man...

My thoughts and best of wishes are with you. You and Mayberry both...

I like bitmap's talk.. prepare with knowledge of the possibilities. ESPECIALLY when it comes to that child o' your'n...

Much Love and all my positive energy, Bullseye.

erniesjourney said...

Hey Bull - I am so sorry that you have to go through these troubles especially at this time in history. You both do need each other if you are to survive and the kids too. I ditto what anon says about pride - it eats you up from the inside out and warps your perspective. Sometimes I have found it is good to yell, scream and fight - let it all out and then sit and talk in the dark with a candle for light (calming) and talk into the wee hours of the night. If you can start with just a little like holding hands again - it seems to work up from there - the little touches that bring you closer together step by step. You have to first get to the root of the problem and if it is that you have grown apart then take steps (the first are the hardest when 2 stubborn people have to give a little) toward building a new bond - not revamping the old one. Brad and I will pray for you both.

Bullseye said...

Catman and Felinae, thank you both so much for your prayers and thoughts. Means a lot to me.

bitmanp, thanks for the advice brother, it's some good advice too. Not too sure how things are going to end up but like you say it just like SHTF.

Selous Scout,thanks and I have prepared for it as best I can. I'm trying.

Jennifer, actually watched that movie tonight and it was really good. Thank you for everything. My baby is and always has been daddy's little girl..always will be too.

Uncle Jim, thank you too much my brother. I really appreciate that and I know you mean it. Thank you.

Anon: 1:38, thank you for that. I hae been raised in a Christian family though I don't live the good life I do know my faults and were my heart should be. Only through a higher power will I ever find what I am looking for. Thank you for everything you said. It's all true.

Mayberry, thanks brother. I know you have had your share of this too. Hope things work out for us all in the end. Just keep hanging on man, that's what I'm doing.

Cygnus, thanks much my brother. I can use all the good vibes that you are all sending. Love to you my brother.

Big E, thanks for the advice and the prayers, never have enough of either. We have made a little progress this evening, a little, but it's still progress. So glad things are working for you and Brad. Hang on to each other with both hands and don't let go.....ever!